Yesterday, my daughter and I created a memory that will forever hold a special place in our hearts. After carefully measuring twice, we ordered her beautiful wedding gown. Then came the exciting part: finding the perfect pair of shoes to match! With so many stunning options to choose from, she finally discovered ‘The One’ – an absolutely gorgeous stiletto sandal. It was quite a surprise, considering her usually conservative style, but I couldn’t be happier and more excited for her.

The 4-inch heels will certainly require some practice, as she rarely wears anything higher than a sensible heel. But I’m sure she’ll rock them on her special day! Even though the dress and heels were quite inexpensive, they are simply stunning. I would have gladly spent more, but she loves the dress, and that’s what matters most.

She truly deserves the best, but being the wise woman she is, she’s opting for a conservative wedding and reception, preferring to invest in house upgrades instead.

Her dad was with us the whole time, laughing along as we browsed and letting out ewwws and awwws together. But when he saw the shoes she chose, his jaw dropped in surprise! It was really special to see him enjoy the planning process as much as we were. Unfortunately, his dementia is progressing, and it’s hard not to worry about the future. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll be able to walk her down the aisle when the big day arrives. It’s always been a dream they’ve shared. If he’s unable to, her brother will be there to step in. No matter what happens, I know everything will be okay. I just want her special day to be perfect and filled with love.

To ensure the wedding and reception go smoothly, we’re keeping the date, times, and location under wraps. That way, there won’t be any unexpected guests, and only those who are invited will know the details. After all, it’s important for their day to be intimate and surrounded by the people they love. I’m excited to see them tie the knot in a beautiful Catholic sacramental wedding, as this is an important part of their faith and values.

My beloved’s dementia is progressing, and it’s been challenging for both of us. Recently, he caught a nasty stomach bug that was particularly difficult for him to handle. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time, which resulted in soiled bedsheets and clothing. It’s heartbreaking to see him struggle with tasks that used to come so easily. He tried his best to clean up, but ultimately let me help him. As a mother, dealing with bodily messes doesn’t faze me, but I know it can be humiliating and traumatizing for him.

Despite his declining memory, he still has some problem-solving skills and a strong desire to contribute. Even with a bad hip, he managed to throw a bag of pellets on a shovel and dragged it into the house. I was so proud of him and even clapped at his accomplishment! It was quite a surprise because he usually shook his head when he saw me using a sled, wheelbarrow, or shovel to move heavy things.

He continues to experience delusions and hallucinations. Just the other day, he told me he had a friendly spider sitting on his lap, visiting with him. I played along, thankful that it was a friendly spider rather than a terrifying one. His delusions often involve scenes from the likes of Tom Clancy novels, which can be quite amusing at times.

His memory issues are also progressing. He sometimes forgets who our dogs, Kaya and Starfire, are, referring to them as ‘hes’ instead of ‘shes’ and asking if we can keep them since they are such nice dogs. 🙂 On one occasion, he needed help putting on their collars as he’d forgotten how to connect them.

One key element of caregiving is to never shame the person for any issues they may face, including bodily accidents. As a caregiver, it’s important to take these incidents in stride and reassure the person that accidents happen to everyone. By doing so, you can help them feel less embarrassed and more comfortable with the care they’re receiving. Above all, the person should feel safe and secure. Imagine yourself in their position—how would you want to be treated when needing help with your physical needs?

I love my husband. Yes, as a couple we have our ups and downs, but we always get through it. We will get through his dementia ordeal as well. I had an eye opener one day when watching a training video.It made me realize that he is to receive pallative care as his brain disease is terminal. It’s now my responsibility to ensure he feels safe, loved, and as happy as possible until the very end. This level of care and comfort is something I believe he wouldn’t receive in any facility.It is up to me to ensure he feels safe, loved, and happy as he can be to the very end.

Bye for now, Kelly