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11 Years Later

Dec3

It’s been 11 years since I last journaled!!  My life has changed dramatically. I’m retired. I’m a full-time caregiver to my husband who has dementia.  This summer was wicked, but thanks to Gabapaten (for my husband) life is easier again.  

My husband suddenly became angry and paranoid.  His anger and paranoia got worse with each passing day.   One day he decided he was going to walk to Safeway.  I thought he was out in our woods raking. He loves to do that daily so I was not concerned.  Luckily he is pretty crippled up, got tired, and came home. It was truly a tough summer.  He was so angry.  I realize he’s lost a lot of freedom. He is no longer allowed to drive, go anywhere without someone, or be alone at home.  He makes poor choices now, and as a result, I am with him 24-7 except on Sunday morning when my daughter comes by to sit with him while I go to mass.

 I don’t want my husband sedated. That is no life. In desperation, I researched the Internet and found an article about the testing of Gabapten on dementia patients who are having behavior issues. I reached out to our doctor who agreed to try it out. What a miracle drug!  He’s back to being my sweetie!  I look back now and chuckle, but it was not funny at the time. I was exhausted mentally from the stress.  ( Collapse )

Star who is now 11 years old, slipped this summer and injured her spine.  She was on a leash for several weeks and what an unhappy girl she was.  She is an active girl but didn’t get much of a summer due to her injury.  It is winter here now and she spends a lot of time outdoors now that she is healed rolling rocks looking for voles. Her arthritis is awful in the evening. Sitting down and getting up is painful. She is on Galliprant and Gabapaten.  They help but the vet wants to put her on that controversial drug, Librela.  I refused.   I called and left a message that I’m not interested in Librela but in using Adequan.  I received a voice message from the vet once again pushing Librela and not one mention of Adequan!  So Star is still on Galliprant and Gabapaten along with her supplements.  I have to wonder if the vets are getting special perks by pushing librela on their patients? Star also had dental surgery two weeks ago.  By the time they were done along with a $5 complimentary nail clipping, I paid out of pocket $1400. 

 Veterinary costs are skyrocketing and it’s to the point if you get a pup, get health insurance!  Don’t wait.  Only the elite can now afford pets sadly. Once my furbabies pass, I won’t be getting another.  My pension isn’t much, but I love them, so I will take good care of them until they pass on.

I got my husband’s bathroom cleaned.  Ugh. I really need a hazmat suit.  I vacuumed the bedroom.  I need to plow due to the snow that fell last night but not until tomorrow maybe after mass.  I love plowing, but I can’t face it right now.   

Dinner is easy.  I love skillet dinners. Packaged in a bag it gets dumped into a skillet. Eight minutes later, done!  My hubby has a healthy meal.  I season it with Johnnie’s seasoning.  Easy Peasy and pretty healthy.  I hate cooking anymore but I like eating healthy.  

Hello! Longtime No Me!

Oct28

Yep, it has been a while. I’ve been so busy dealing with everyday life. Plus my fish, RCIA, and work.  No, the annulments have not yet gone through, Well I take that back. One has.  My husband’s last sociopathic ex-wife. The one who has been remarried over, and over, and over since their divorce. Oh yes, and she ended up in prison for being a prostitute in Kenai & Nikiski posing as a masseuse lol. That annulment went through lickety split.

The other ex-wife of his, as it turns out,  was never Catholic. Anyhow, he and I are still waiting on our annulments. I may end up still attending RCIA through next year if they don’t happen soon. Mind you, I enjoy learning, and Catholicism is fascinating; however, I want to go deeper than what RCIA is teaching. I haven’t a lot of time as it is to delve deeper on my own. I am attending a Bible class once a week too. We are studying the book of Acts, and it is exciting. Those Apostles are amazing. All but John end up dying, and they died for their beliefs. Paul got stoned twice so far. How he survived that is beyond me!

I got a new fish. A wee little neon goby. Bless its heart. It had ich. It was so sick. It’s still in quarantine for two more weeks.  It has perked way up, and so far no ich since I did the container switch method. Hopefully, it doesn’t break out again. It’s a cutie. I’ve been feeding it live brine shrimp. Tonight she surprised me. I dropped in some flakes for the two tiny hermit crabs I have in her tank  to keep her company.  She was on those flakes scarfing away. First time ever!  She is swimming every where too, and she is no longer in hiding. Yay!

I have my second 20 gallon set up. I have the tank to turn into a sump for it too, but just haven’t had the energy nor the time.  The protein skimmer is in to add to it.  I just have to do it. Maybe this weekend. We will see.I’m exhausted. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. Dave won’t go by himself now, that is if he can help it.He gets confused so easily. I looked at him hard the other day. He has lost so much weight. He looks so frail. It made me realize that I won’t have that awesome man in my life forever. I love him so much. In fact, more and more every day. I can’t imagine my life without him. So I’m trying to fatten him up. He needs to gain some weight. That last knee surgery really wore him down.

Someone stole my crayons today.~Grrr~ A young woman had a disabled person with her and asked if she could borrow them to keep her entertained, while she was  there to be advised or something. (I work for a university) So stupid me, I said yes, and she promised to return them. Ha! I kept  crayons to entertain the wee ones while the parents come for academic advising. The big plastic animals for toddlers to play with that I had there walked off too. ~sigh~ I know who took those. That woman thinks everything belongs to her, and there is no reasoning with her. Tomorrow I’ll go to Value Village and see if I can’t get some things  for the children and a bag to put them in.I’ll definitely put my name on everything this time.

I did have fun decorating a vase today in hopes that when the  little sign is read on it, people will make donations to the Goodie Fund. They love eating the goodies, so hopefully a few more will see the fancy donation jar and pitch in.Mind you I love making students happy, but being an admin  for a university, I’m not paid a lot.  I do what I can though.  I like seeing the students smiling, and staff & faculty too.

It’s 7:18 pm, and I’m off to bed. It’s been a hard week.

Sweet dreams. kj