We are currently watching “For All Mankind” on the Apple TV Channel. Living with and providing caregiving for someone with dementia can be unpredictable, and my morning was a perfect example. While the show is based partly on actual events and includes historical figures like astronauts Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, and Deke Slayton, it is actually a work of fiction. I did a lot of googling. I was so disappointed. There was never a lunar base on the moon like the one shown in the series. I figured the government hadn’t been transparent with all of its NASA activity. I mean, how surprising would that be, right?
Caregiving for Someone With Dementia
This morning started off differently than usual. Usually, although chaotic, things go pretty smoothly. At the same time, I realize that you never know what you are going to get day by day when you are providing caregiving for someone with dementia. My hubby was looking forlornly at several pairs of shoes and informed me that none of them fit properly. I pointed out the pair he’d been wearing, but he said they still didn’t fit. So I walked away and let him try to work it out. A bit later, he came in with a sock. He was flustered because he couldn’t bend over to get his sock on. Luckily, it was a different sock from the one he had on the other foot. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed a matching sock and the shoes he’d been wearing. I slipped on his sock and then his shoes, and not one word came out of him. He did smile, however, and had zero complaints that the shoes were not fitting properly. He then ate his breakfast and surfed the internet.
Alzheimer’s is so weird. One day, my hubby is fine, with all his synapses firing as they should, and the next day, it can be the complete opposite.. His delusions and hallucinations (something I will get into later) have thankfully cut back. I’ve noticed that when his brain is changing, he gets hypersexual. I then know that something new will pop up. For example, the shoe episode this morning, sleeping in his day clothes, not making his sandwiches or tea any longer, and not drinking water.These are all recent developments.
Hubby has argued about bathing and changing his clothes for a good year. I now tell him, “It’s shower day and I’m putting a heater in your bathroom to make it warm for you.” A heater is a great enticement. It didn’t work last week, though. He was still resistant. So yesterday, while trimming his toenails, I emphasized how badly his feet smell and how dirty it was between his toes. I told him he would be lucky not to get a fungal infection. He looked a bit alarmed hehehe. My plot worked. He got in the shower, and I stole his dirty clothes. 🙂 I laid out clean everything. A bit later he came out in pj bottoms. Hubby: “I can’t figure out what to put on.”
Me: “I have everything laid out for you. Let me go through it with you.”
He just needed some guidance.
As I mentioned in another blog entry, before my hubby was put on Gabapentin, he was angry and paranoid. He was having severe delusions. Granted, the delusions are still there, but they are more subtle.TThis summer, he not only ran off, but he was also spying. He was convinced that he had sold the property to the new neighbors and that they had parked a plane on our property without his permission or without paying him for the parking space. He was constantly cutting through the woods and spying on them. That stressed me out so much. I was concerned he would get rude and that there would be a conflict. My imagination was going overboard. Stress does that to me. The house the new neighbors moved into had once belonged to him. He lost it in a divorce. His ex-wife sold it years ago. The next owner lived there for a couple of decades and then decided to sell. I know. It is complicated, and especially complicated for someone with dementia. Regardless, hubby thinks there were three houses on that property and that they bulldozed all three of them down. He also thinks they dug a hole and dropped a sewer tank on our property. He’s always been a bit territorial, but with dementia, it has gotten much worse.
Thankfully, God gives me the grace to show my hubby love and most of the time patience. Providing caregiving for someone with dementia has taught me that both are necessary. Of course, I drop the ball from time to time, but blogging is helping me see that I’m doing far better than I thought I was.
To read more about our Alzheimer’s Journey: