I truly miss the companionship my late husband brought into our marriage. There was real love and warmth between us most of the time. Granted, we had our moments, but there was never abuse or gaslighting. We said what we needed to say, made up, and moved on. Neither of us could bear holding onto anger. It made us physically ill.

Dave was a romantic. We held hands everywhere we went and even while watching television together. He thought nothing of pulling me into his arms for a slow dance in the living room. Those are the moments I will always treasure. As the old coffee commercial said, “The richest kind.” They are memories far richer than the heartbreaking years of Alzheimer’s.

Yet one precious moment stands out near the end of his life.

By then, Dave could no longer speak. One day, he suddenly looked at me and signed, “I love you.”

I will treasure that moment for the rest of my life.

Long before Alzheimer’s, we had made a habit of signing “I love you” in ASL as I backed out of the driveway on my way to work, or whenever he dropped me off somewhere. It became our quiet little tradition.

Last night, I signed those same three words to him.

I don’t know whether he can still see them from where he is, but it didn’t matter. My heart needed to say them one more time in ASL.

Dave… I love you.
🤟