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From Joy to Vertigo: A Caregiver’s Honest Reflection

Dec3

November 18 2024, 09:11

From Joy to Vertigo: A Caregiver’s Honest Reflection

Yesterday was wonderful initially. I got to go to mass, and my son joined me.  After I got home, my daughter, plowed the road for me.  I was and still am so touched by this wonderful act of kindness.  She told me it felt good getting outside and getting a workout. I so understand.  My son also took his dad to town, so I had time to chat with my daughter before she went to plow.  

I decided to take advantage of the quiet time, drink my coffee, and dive into my Bible study.  I didn’t get far.  My son and hubby were back. My daughter came in to warm up.  I thoroughly enjoyed the family time. Once again chatting and catching up.  So much love in the room. After the kids left, I got my hubby his lunch and settled back to study.  That didn’t last long.  He ate his lunch and was restless.  He wouldn’t stop talking.  Everything I suggested he said no to. He chatted with the dogs and interrupted me repeatedly while I was trying to listen to my Bible in a Year video.  I finally gave up.  It’s so weird.  As long as I’m not doing something for myself, he leaves me alone.  I can work from home and he will leave me be, but if I try to take a class online, he won’t leave me alone. The minute I try to do anything for me, he’s pestering me.  Mind you I chat with him and give him lots of time.  All of his needs are met as well.  But it is never enough. He always wants more. I finally told him I was going to lie down. and he was welcome to join me.  After I had dozed off, he came in and switched on the overhead light.   He informed me he had forgotten I was in there.  He turned off the light and shuffled off.  After I dozed off again, he decided the dogs needed their collars removed.  In he came again. Jingle, jingle, jingle. I gave up and came back into the living room.  He then decides to stay in the bedroom and lie down!  Aargh.  

I later saw the light in the maintenance room come on.  I can see it from my living room window.  I went in and found him messing about. The last thing I needed was him flicking switches and valves. He can no longer fix anything but he is really good at destroying.  I got him out of there, and he complained he was cold.  He headed for the pellet stove.  He likes the hot air that blows out from the vents. I got my electric blanket and convinced him to sit in his chair under it.  He loved it.  So it’s his now.  At least he won’t be standing in the warm pellet stove air. He has burn scars all over his torso.  The pellet stove air dries them out and makes him itch miserably.  It’s taken a good week to get it cleared up lathering him with lotion several times a day.

Later I experienced vertigo twice. I don’t know if it was stress or the crystals in my ears shuffling.  Weird I must say.

My Ex: The Narcissist Checklist

Oct30

If you are involved with a person that has these traits listed, RUN! I beg you! RUN!

Besides this list below, my ex also carried a picture of himself in his wallet, and constantly had his face in the mirror. He was and probably still is in love with himself.  He was heavy into porn, and loved to cause trouble at work between his coworkers. They hadn’t a clue he was the one setting them up.

narcissist-checklist

Expected Response – None

Oct30

My ex never responded to the Diocese. He ignored every letter. I’m fine with that.  The annulment will take longer, but it will happen eventually. They realized he was playing games. At least his poor mum talked with them.  She did not have to do that. I feel so sorry for her. She is married to a narcissist, and her son is a narcissist. She doesn’t want to acknowledge it and continues to this day taking abuse from her husband and thinking her son is the golden boy.

I still shudder when I think of what my FIL did to his own Mother’s chickens. He hung all of her hens from the clothesline and slit their throats when she was gone one day. ~SMH~ He was a little kid at that time.

Her son isn’t any different. I found out after the divorce he was killing our farm animals out of fury. He’s evil.

It amazes me where I find narcissists. I am surrounded by them. They are where I work, at church, everywhere!

My Dave, the poor man. He forgot he was given an annulment by the church to his ex-wife.  He still doesn’t remember it even though we have the letter. I have to face it; he has Alzheimers. I pray I’m wrong. He can’t remember anything majorly significant.  I love this man, and I will lose him.  I can only hope the Alzheimer’s is slow. We have crappy doctors here. This stuff is as bad as cancer. It eats away your brain. Maybe there are some trial treatments out there?

Hello! Longtime No Me!

Oct28

Yep, it has been a while. I’ve been so busy dealing with everyday life. Plus my fish, RCIA, and work.  No, the annulments have not yet gone through, Well I take that back. One has.  My husband’s last sociopathic ex-wife. The one who has been remarried over, and over, and over since their divorce. Oh yes, and she ended up in prison for being a prostitute in Kenai & Nikiski posing as a masseuse lol. That annulment went through lickety split.

The other ex-wife of his, as it turns out,  was never Catholic. Anyhow, he and I are still waiting on our annulments. I may end up still attending RCIA through next year if they don’t happen soon. Mind you, I enjoy learning, and Catholicism is fascinating; however, I want to go deeper than what RCIA is teaching. I haven’t a lot of time as it is to delve deeper on my own. I am attending a Bible class once a week too. We are studying the book of Acts, and it is exciting. Those Apostles are amazing. All but John end up dying, and they died for their beliefs. Paul got stoned twice so far. How he survived that is beyond me!

I got a new fish. A wee little neon goby. Bless its heart. It had ich. It was so sick. It’s still in quarantine for two more weeks.  It has perked way up, and so far no ich since I did the container switch method. Hopefully, it doesn’t break out again. It’s a cutie. I’ve been feeding it live brine shrimp. Tonight she surprised me. I dropped in some flakes for the two tiny hermit crabs I have in her tank  to keep her company.  She was on those flakes scarfing away. First time ever!  She is swimming every where too, and she is no longer in hiding. Yay!

I have my second 20 gallon set up. I have the tank to turn into a sump for it too, but just haven’t had the energy nor the time.  The protein skimmer is in to add to it.  I just have to do it. Maybe this weekend. We will see.I’m exhausted. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. Dave won’t go by himself now, that is if he can help it.He gets confused so easily. I looked at him hard the other day. He has lost so much weight. He looks so frail. It made me realize that I won’t have that awesome man in my life forever. I love him so much. In fact, more and more every day. I can’t imagine my life without him. So I’m trying to fatten him up. He needs to gain some weight. That last knee surgery really wore him down.

Someone stole my crayons today.~Grrr~ A young woman had a disabled person with her and asked if she could borrow them to keep her entertained, while she was  there to be advised or something. (I work for a university) So stupid me, I said yes, and she promised to return them. Ha! I kept  crayons to entertain the wee ones while the parents come for academic advising. The big plastic animals for toddlers to play with that I had there walked off too. ~sigh~ I know who took those. That woman thinks everything belongs to her, and there is no reasoning with her. Tomorrow I’ll go to Value Village and see if I can’t get some things  for the children and a bag to put them in.I’ll definitely put my name on everything this time.

I did have fun decorating a vase today in hopes that when the  little sign is read on it, people will make donations to the Goodie Fund. They love eating the goodies, so hopefully a few more will see the fancy donation jar and pitch in.Mind you I love making students happy, but being an admin  for a university, I’m not paid a lot.  I do what I can though.  I like seeing the students smiling, and staff & faculty too.

It’s 7:18 pm, and I’m off to bed. It’s been a hard week.

Sweet dreams. kj

 

 

 

My Sweet Sally

Mar9

I hope I can get back into my writing again.  My life had been crazy  for a couple of years, and I was doing classes too.

Now I’m in RCIA and love it. I can’t get enough. There is so much to learn and I will never be able to learn everything before I die. 😦  I love our little church.  It’s a sweet place and 90% of the people are good and kind. Yes, there are a few snobs, but that is their problem.

I got to feed my Sally Lightfoot this evening by hand or rather chop stick haha.  She is a doll.  Actually she is a marine crab.  It has taken me a couple of months to get her to this point. She is a timid thing and cute as can be. I love all animals. I find marine life fascinating.

 

My Sweet Sally

My Biological Father – John Garner Tynes

Dec23

Private Messages for kjpeissner

Subject: JOHN GARNER TYNES – ?????? 
From: edmondsallan
Date: 2014-12-23 22:33:28

Hi, be nice if you could let me know which one of these listings could be him – regards edmondsallan

John Garner Tynes
United States Census, 1940
Name: John Garner Tynes   I guess it would be this one.  Sorry to respond so late.  
To: kjpeissner
Event Type: Census
Event Date: 1940
Event Place: Ward 10, Waco, Justice Precinct 1, McLennan, Texas, United States
Gender: Male
Age: 7
Marital Status: Single
Race (Original): White
Race: White
Relationship to Head of Household (Original): Son
Relationship to Head of Household: Son
Birthplace: Texas
Birth Year (Estimated): 1933
Last Place of Residence: Same Place
Household Role Gender Age Birthplace
Joseph F Tynes Head M 38 Texas
Ruby Tynes Wife F 36 Tennessee
Franklin Louise Tynes Daughter F 16 Texas
Della May Tynes Daughter F 14 Texas
Ford Tynes Son M 12 Texas
Jeanette Tynes Daughter F 8 Texas
John Garner Tynes Son M 7 Texas
Imogene Tynes Daughter F 6 Texas
Ruby Fay Tynes Daughter F 3 Texas
Wilbur Lee Tynes Daughter F 2 Texas
District: 155-43 , Family Number: 220 , Sheet Number and Letter: 12A , Line Number: 35 , Affiliate Publication Number: T627 , Affiliate Film Number: 4100 , Digital Folder Number: 005457450 , Image Number: 00530

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United States Census, 1940
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About this collection

Citing this Record

“United States Census, 1940,” index and images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/K4S3-2ZN : accessed 24 December 2014), John Garner Tynes in household of Joseph F Tynes, Ward 10, Waco, Justice Precinct 1, McLennan, Texas, United States; citing enumeration district (ED) 155-43, sheet 12A, family 220, NARA digital publication of T627, roll 4100, NARA digital publication of T627, National Archives and Records Administration, Washington, D.C.

My Family history

Dec23

Calvin Dee /Tynes/
15 December 1863 – 3 September 1906

View Individual Summary

Della A. /Tynes/
birth: 1 January 1891
death: 22 November 1894
Bailey Edgar /Tynes/ Sr
birth: 4 January 1893
death: 20 October 1977
Luther William /Tynes/
birth: 7 October 1895
death: 3 February 1960
Alton Dee /Tynes/ Sr
birth: 22 October 1897
death: 30 August 1975
Buel Calvin /Tynes/
birth: 20 November 1900
death: 7 September 1978
Joseph Ford /Tynes/ Sr
birth: 15 December 1902
death: 10 October 1987
Clarence Burean /Tynes/
birth: 18 February 1905
death: 1 July 1987

Calvin Dee /Tynes/
birth: 15 December 1863
Nacogdoches, Nacogdoches, Texas, USA
death: 3 September 1906
Center City, Shelby, Texas, USA
more

spouse:
Sophronia Annie /Walker/
birth: 4 July 1872
marriage: 6 February 1890
death: 3 January 1949

William Luther /Tynes/
birth: 4 December 1829
Butler, Alabama, USA
death: 6 July 1906
Nacogdoches, Nacogdoches, Texas, USA
Caroline Rachel /Compton/
birth: 1830
Wilcox, Alabama, USA
death: 14 May 1879
Nacogdoches, Nacogdoches, Texas, USA

Timothy /Tynes/ Sr
birth: 1788
death: 23 January 1869
Indian /Princess/
birth: from 1800 to 1810
death: 1836

Additional Information for Calvin Dee /Tynes/
Notes (7)

Calvin Dee Tynes was born on 15 Dec 1863 in Nacogdoches, Texas, USA
(Nacogdoches, Texas as the sixth child of William Luther Tynes and
Caroline Rachel Compton). He had six siblings, namely: Mary Frances,
Samuel J, John Frank, Mary Laura Elizabeth, Henry R, and William
Wiley. He died on 03 Sep 1906 in Center City, Shelby, Texas, USA (prob
died in a Saw Mill accident). When he was 26, he married Sophronia
Annie “Sarah” Walker on 06 Feb 1890 in Nacogdoches County, Texas, USA
(Calvin Died in 1906).

Calvin Dee Tynes was buried in Joaquin, Shelby, Texas, USA. FIND A
GRAVE MEMORIAL: (# 74413435) He was employed as a Worked at a Cotton
Mill. 1870 CENSUS: 1870 in Nacogdoches County, Texas, USA (6 years
old) 1880 CENSUS: 1880 in Nacogdoches County, Texas, USA (14 years
old) 1900 CENSUS: 1900 in Nacogdoches County, Texas, USA (Farmer) He
was buried on 03 Sep 1906 in Center City, Shelby, Texas, USA (Price
Cemetery).

Calvin Dee Tynes and Sophronia Annie “Sarah” Walker had the following
children:

Della A. Tynes was born on 01 Jan 1891 in Nacogdoches County, Texas,
USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee Tynes). She
died on 22 Nov 1894 in Nacogdoches County, Texas, USA.
Bailey Edgar “Babe” Tynes Sr was born on 04 Jan 1893 in Nacogdoches
County, Texas, USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee
Tynes). He died on 20 Oct 1977 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA (Age:
84). He married Clara Bell Collins before 1918 in McLennan, Texas,
USA. He married Ruthie Jane Burt in 1929 in Temple, Bell, Texas, USA.
Luther William Tynes was born on 07 Oct 1895 in Nacogdoches County,
Texas, USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee Tynes).
He died on 03 Feb 1960 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA (Age: 64). He
married Alma Gates Scott about 1919 in McLennan, Texas, USA.
Alton Dee Tynes Sr was born on 22 Oct 1897 in Nacogdoches, Texas, USA
(parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee Tynes). He died on
30 Aug 1975 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA. He married Annie Amelia
“Granny” Schulz on 25 Oct 1919 in McLennan, Texas, USA (She met and
married Alton Dee Tynes, Sr at Edgefield Baptist Church in Waco,
Texas.).
Buel Calvin Tynes was born on 20 Nov 1900 in Nacogdoches County,
Texas, USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee Tynes).
He died on 07 Sep 1978 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA. He married
Lillian Ann Herring about 1923 in McLennan, Texas, USA.
Joseph Ford “Ford” Tynes Sr was born on 15 Dec 1902 in Nacogdoches
County, Texas, USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee
Tynes). He died on 10 Oct 1987 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA. He
married Ruby Wakefield in 1922 in McLennan, Texas, USA.
Clarence Burean “Chink” Tynes was born on 18 Feb 1905 in Nacogdoches
County, Texas, USA (parents are Sophronia Annie Walker and Calvin Dee
Tynes). He died on 01 Jul 1987 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA. He
married Thelma Ludean Howard in 1926 in Waco, McLennan, Texas, USA.

AFGS
1 _PHOTO @M4060@

Valerie Fields Harris and Lindsay Boyd both report the marriage date
as 6 February 1889 (not 1890). The 1890 date comes from the
Ancestry.com index “Texas Marriage Records, 1851-1900”.

Description: Price Cemetery

Description: Nacogdoches, Texas

Description: prob died in a Saw Mill accident

Description: Calvin Died in 1906

Blogging

Sep21

I used to blog all the time.  I loved to write.  Journaling has helped me get through some difficult times.  For example, when my mother was dying.  I looked back at my journal and there were so many mixed emotions revealed that I hadn’t realized at the time of writing.

Now my life is pretty boring.  I go to work and then I come home.  That’s pretty much it.  So maybe I’ll write about the past.  My animal stories.  🙂  Even if no one else will enjoy them, I certainly will.