November 18 2024, 09:11

From Joy to Vertigo: A Caregiver’s Honest Reflection

Yesterday was wonderful initially. I got to go to mass, and my son joined me.  After I got home, my daughter, plowed the road for me.  I was and still am so touched by this wonderful act of kindness.  She told me it felt good getting outside and getting a workout. I so understand.  My son also took his dad to town, so I had time to chat with my daughter before she went to plow.  

I decided to take advantage of the quiet time, drink my coffee, and dive into my Bible study.  I didn’t get far.  My son and hubby were back. My daughter came in to warm up.  I thoroughly enjoyed the family time. Once again chatting and catching up.  So much love in the room. After the kids left, I got my hubby his lunch and settled back to study.  That didn’t last long.  He ate his lunch and was restless.  He wouldn’t stop talking.  Everything I suggested he said no to. He chatted with the dogs and interrupted me repeatedly while I was trying to listen to my Bible in a Year video.  I finally gave up.  It’s so weird.  As long as I’m not doing something for myself, he leaves me alone.  I can work from home and he will leave me be, but if I try to take a class online, he won’t leave me alone. The minute I try to do anything for me, he’s pestering me.  Mind you I chat with him and give him lots of time.  All of his needs are met as well.  But it is never enough. He always wants more. I finally told him I was going to lie down. and he was welcome to join me.  After I had dozed off, he came in and switched on the overhead light.   He informed me he had forgotten I was in there.  He turned off the light and shuffled off.  After I dozed off again, he decided the dogs needed their collars removed.  In he came again. Jingle, jingle, jingle. I gave up and came back into the living room.  He then decides to stay in the bedroom and lie down!  Aargh.  

I later saw the light in the maintenance room come on.  I can see it from my living room window.  I went in and found him messing about. The last thing I needed was him flicking switches and valves. He can no longer fix anything but he is really good at destroying.  I got him out of there, and he complained he was cold.  He headed for the pellet stove.  He likes the hot air that blows out from the vents. I got my electric blanket and convinced him to sit in his chair under it.  He loved it.  So it’s his now.  At least he won’t be standing in the warm pellet stove air. He has burn scars all over his torso.  The pellet stove air dries them out and makes him itch miserably.  It’s taken a good week to get it cleared up lathering him with lotion several times a day.

Later I experienced vertigo twice. I don’t know if it was stress or the crystals in my ears shuffling.  Weird I must say.