Living Between Two Worlds
Catholic faith after loss has become even more important to me than I ever imagined. I live in a Catholic world. It is not an easy path to follow. In truth, it can be quite hard. I have friends from many different walks of life who live in the secular world. Even when I do not approve of their choices, I still love them unconditionally. I wish them well and want the best for them, even those who have hurt me. I try never to hurt anyone, even when I disagree with them. Admittedly, I have foundered in that area lately, and I feel horrible about it. All I can do is apologize.
Living My Catholic Faith Every Day
Catholicism is integrated into my daily life. I fail terribly at times. I strive to honor God in how I live, but being human, temptations can easily pull me off that narrow path. My chosen way of life is strict in many ways, yet when I stay on that path, I find peace. It is usually when I veer away from it that I find confusion, sadness, and misery within myself. That confusion, sadness, and misery can easily affect others as well. I have to remind myself of this daily. Everything I do and say has consequences, and those consequences matter to me and to the people I love.
How Catholic Faith Strengthened Our Marriage
For me, that faith also shaped my understanding of marriage. There was trust, loyalty, and commitment between Dave and me. That does exist outside the Catholic faith too, of course, because goodness exists in many people regardless of religion. Still, I believe my faith gave our marriage structure, accountability, and purpose. In a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain, that stability mattered deeply to me. Dave and I knew where we stood with one another.
Love Beyond Passion
I struggle to understand modern relationships sometimes. So much of the world now feels temporary and disposable. People move in and out of each other’s lives quickly often leaving hurt behind them. Perhaps they are searching for happiness, but I sometimes wonder if they are truly finding it. Yes, there are miserable married Catholics. I feel very blessed to have shared life with a man such as Dave. He wasn’t passionate, but he loved me, and that matters more than anything. I’ve had passion. It is absolutely marvelous, but passion itself isn’t enough. Love, however, is.
Finding Strength After Loss
There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t whisper to my Dave that I miss him and wish he were here. I miss the companionship. I miss the stability our marriage brought. I miss the protection I had. I don’t know if I will ever encounter it again. I have to find a way to hold that stability within myself now that my Dave is gone. It will take time, I know. Somehow, I will find it.
Catholic Faith After Loss Continues to Guide Me
Ultimately, Catholicism gives me direction, meaning, spiritual growth, and above all, peace—when I stay on the path I believe God has called me to follow. I am learning how to continue, even while falling occasionally, and with God’s grace, standing back up, brushing myself off, and carrying on this journey—never truly alone, but walking it with Him.